Ever got struck by a meteor called “Judgement”.
How does it feel?
An extra-terrestrial body enters your comfort zone, hits the very deepest part of you and leaves you broken.
Do you have the gut to hit back? But, how can you hit an entity which was so strong a moment ago and has vanished after resonating your whole existence?
After a lot of struggle when you re-arrange yourself, it is not the real you. Your genuine self was lost in the process. You do not accept this new face; you do not owe the new identity that came out as a reaction to what you went through. Therefore, you think people will not accept it either. You mask it with a more acceptable version of yourself. The one that could please your viewers and act as a shield against all these attacks.
The problem arises when you forget that the definition of pleasure is not the same for everyone. Therefore, you start modifying your mask according to their pleasure, and it tends to get heavier and complex, every time you meet a new viewer. To avoid this, you stop meeting people and isolate ourselves behind this mask.
However, the story behind the mask is much miserable than the front of it. Many beasts of your own judgment eat the flesh of your face every day only due to your denial about your identity.
All for the sake of… All for the sake of “Pride of appearance”
In this world, different people go through different times, different situations and different experiences as a result of choices they make in their life. These choices may be governed by their past, their family, their society, their political influence or culture, hence anything. But for some people, it is different. It is like another unknown part of themselves caged inside, communicating with them with a voice, a whisper, a tune that keeps on playing, no matter what choice they make. It pulls them towards itself, changes their circumstances to follow it and makes them leave everything behind. Nothing else can govern their life but this little whisper. Neither they can suppress, deny or avoid it nor can they understand it themselves or describe it to other people. It’s an abstract idea, a thought or an emotion that they never understand but chase all the way long.
All they have to do is to accept its existence. And as soon as they accept it, they uncover THE ARTIST within themselves.
Deprived of the sleep
Mourns like a child
She is way too far from
A state where she is able to fight
Not only herself but
Those who disguise
So much chaos in her head
That she might lose herself
For ages, she has longed for a feeling
For what’s called Delight.
She needs rest, she needs peace
She needs direction
Before she chooses to loose her sight
This struggle for her passion
Has tested too much of her might.
It’s only a matter of faith
There’s a war which never ends
Someday its mere darkness
And the other shine bright
All she knows is,
No matter what it brings
She has suffered too much
In her quest for doing
What she thinks is right.
There are many who envy her,
Haven’t they ever seen
A lone wolf howling to the moon
So much power, so much wrath
And yet he lingers in pain the whole night
Yes she is frightened and Insecure like him
But she never complains
She only needs a corner
Where she can meet herself
And whatever comes in her heart, she can write.
I often join her in her struggle to escape out of herself.
Its complete darkness there.
“My world is very dark. I didn’t know it myself until I jumped inside this endless misery and got lost” she says as she wanders in the myriad darkness not being able to see anything. “I am tired of finding my way, I am tired of fighting with myself, loosing one part to win the other. Life is nothing but a useless fight with no conclusion. You mourn over the little defeats and celebrate the little victories but it doesn’t end. Every other day brings with it a new challenge.”
Suddenly, she see’s a spark. Rushes to grasp it. I suggest her to keep it safe in her heart to lit her way forward. She refuses and lits the nearby wood she has recently sensed with her hands.
The wood catches fire and she sighs with relief…….
After a moment the fire starts spreading and the sky turns red as the ashes rise high.
She has burnt the bridge, that could lead her way out.
She falls on the ground and silently watches the sky, which ultimately turns dark. I fall out of her eye and diminish in the ground.
All I wanted was to help her, and I can’t until she does herself.
My name is “Hope” and with every passing momemt I am dying inside her.
How easy it is to stand in front of someone, gather all the pain you have…
And hit back for the strike you got
With same pressure or even more than that
Just to be at ease
Just to shift the pain back to the one who gave you
You weep, you shout, you can even kill
Just to relieve yourself from the burden of Anger, Pain and Revenge !
What do you feel when you have reacted like a beast
Achieved, Relieved, Sick, Guilty…..?
Let me tell you
YOU ARE A COWARD !
You were never capable of holding grudges like these and carrying such a heavy burden in your head and in your heart
You can never imagine
How hard it is to listen everything you don’t want to
And absorb it like nothing happened
And never letting a single word slip through your tongue
Holding it, carrying it where ever you go and Fighting it all yourself
You can never feel this pain
You never will….