She

Deprived from the sleep
Mourns like a child
She is way too far from
A state where she is able to fight
Not only herself but
Those who disguise

So much chaos in her head
That she might loose herself
For ages she has longed for a feeling
For what’s called delight.

She needs rest, she needs peace
She needs direction
Before she chooses to loose her sight
This struggle for her fantasy
Has tested too much of her might.

Its only a matter of faith
There’s a war which never ends
Someday its mere darkness
And the other shine bright
All she knows is,
No matter what it brings
She has suffered to much
In her quest for doing
What she thinks is right.

There are many who envy her,
Haven’t they ever seen
A lone wolf howling to the moon
So much power, so much wrath
And yet he lingers in pain the whole night

Yes she is frightened and Insecure like him
But she never complains
She only needs corner of the world
Where she can meet herself
And whatever comes in her heart, she can write.

Hope

I often join her in her struggle to escape out of herself.

Its complete darkness there.

“My world is very dark. I didn’t know it myself until I jumped inside this endless misery and got lost” she says as she wanders in the myriad darkness not being able to see anything. “I am tired of finding my way, I am tired of fighting with myself, loosing one part to win the other. Life is nothing but a useless fight with no conclusion. You mourn over the little defeats and celebrate the little victories but it doesn’t end. Every other day brings with it a new challenge.”

Suddenly, she see’s a spark. Rushes to grasp it. I suggest her to keep it safe in her heart to lit her way forward. She refuses and lits the nearby wood she has recently sensed with her hands.

The wood catches fire and she sighs with relief…….

After a moment the fire starts spreading and the sky turns red as the ashes rise high.

She has burnt the bridge, that could lead her way out.

She falls on the ground and silently watches the sky, which ultimately turns dark. I fall out of her eye and diminish in the ground.

All I wanted was to help her, and I can’t until she does herself.

My name is “Hope” and with every passing momemt I am dying inside her.

Confession of an Insecure Soul

How easy it is to stand in front of someone, gather all the pain you have…
And hit back for the strike you got
With same pressure or even more than that

Just to be at ease
Just to shift the pain back to the one who gave you

You weep, you shout, you can even kill
Just to relieve yourself from the burden of Anger, Pain and Revenge !

What do you feel when you have reacted like a beast
Achieved, Relieved, Sick, Guilty…..?

Let me tell you
YOU ARE A COWARD !
You were never capable of holding  grudges like these and carrying such a heavy burden in your head and in your heart

You can never imagine
How hard it is to listen everything you don’t want to
And absorb it like nothing happened
And never letting a single word slip through your tongue
Holding it, carrying it where ever you go and Fighting it all yourself

You can never feel this pain
You never will….

Addiction to Freedom

the musings of an unhinged soul.

I know a place above the ground,
Where the soul meets the world in unadulterated freedom,
And the shades fall from your eyes,
And your mind is open to all the possibilities around it,
No longer conforming but creating,
No longer tamed but wild,
Hungry for fulfilment that come with self-realisation,
A place where reaching for the stars is a step away,
And the rush that abandoning all fear brings to me,
It’s like a drug…
One that I am never leaving.
Terry N.M.

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