Confession of an Insecure Soul

How easy it is to stand in front of someone, gather all the pain you have…
And hit back for the strike you got
With same pressure or even more than that

Just to be at ease
Just to shift the pain back to the one who gave you

You weep, you shout, you can even kill
Just to relieve yourself from the burden of Anger, Pain and Revenge !

What do you feel when you have reacted like a beast
Achieved, Relieved, Sick, Guilty…..?

Let me tell you
You were never capable of holding  grudges like these and carrying such a heavy burden in your head and in your heart

You can never imagine
How hard it is to listen everything you don’t want to
And absorb it like nothing happened
And never letting a single word slip through your tongue
Holding it, carrying it where ever you go and Fighting it all yourself

You can never feel this pain
You never will….

Author: Hina Khan Palwasha

I define myself as a very creative, persuasive, determined, energetic and outgoing person with excellent interpersonal, communication and negotiation skills and the ability to develop and maintain mutually beneficial internal and external relationships. I enjoy being part of, as well as managing, motivating and training, a successful and productive team, and can thrive in highly pressurized and challenging working environment.

32 thoughts on “Confession of an Insecure Soul”

  1. Reblogged this on elziejackson and commented:
    I’m not no writer!!!!!!! But I’m guilty!!!!!!! I’m the kinda guy that hurts people cause I’m a real blunt m***** f***** I just sometimes don’t think first!!!!! just sayen!!!!!!

  2. It is then that you understand that your reply was built on fear. Understand ‘why’ you feel the need to reply in that way, and you will then understand you, and will no longer need to respond in that way. Look under that fear. How does it really make you feel underneath. What feeling does that anger create underneath. Rejection, unloved, belittled…look deeper and ask yourself why does it make you feel this way.
    Understanding it, releases it, and you are no longer under the fears control. You are now free from all of that. It no longer has purpose, you have found that truth within…and it now has purpose.
    Once released you no longer carry its weight, it no longer has your attention, it no longer drags you kicking and screaming through life.
    You have found you, the true you, and the beauty that has been hidden, will begin to flower. Namaste

    1. Yes it’s very much true. But, trust me ! Putting into words is much more easier than putting it into actions.
      Going deeper is fine but with depth comes, confusion and chaos and you loose focus.

      1. If that is how it makes you feel, then I would recommend you find a good trusted counsellor or guide. It isn’t an easy journey or we would all forget it by the next day. But in that journey we do find the one thing that we spend our lives looking for…the love of self.
        We try in so many ways to find this thing that is supposed to give us happiness, and after trying so many things it is not until we go through a very tumultuous time in our lives that we finally look in that last place…and find it has been within us all that time.
        When the fear that drove our lives is understood, we understand it and how it has run our lives, and we see that we have been running from it and in doing so have lived a life full of no meaning because of that. The day that you understand it, you no longer wish to be driven by what that fear meant and you drop it all, and now wish above all else to have that meaning and truth as who you wish to now become.
        Your entire life will be changed forever. More open, much less stressed and a happiness you will be amazed at. Everything, and I mean everything is changed. It’s like being dropped onto a tropical island. All new, every day an adventure and beauty everywhere.
        All it takes is a decision to no longer be driven by that fear, and the guidance of a professional or friend who has been where you need to go.
        You’ll know when you are ready, that is why you wrote the post. Have faith in yourself, you are strong enough, courageous enough and love within for who you are. Namaste

  3. Very true thing. But any day I would resort to this method, and I say it’s better than an acid attack that frequently is seen in our country. I am not justifying this, but better to let it off and be done with it. Never let anger/frustration build up, imho.

    I think soaking everything in himself/herself is not everyone’s cup of tea.


  4. Something I figured out not too long ago is that there is a third option: to know that when someone slings their crap at you, all you have to do is duck. It’s not yours to take on, to hurl back, or to carry with you. Beautifully searing words!

  5. I remember in high school hating on a guy in my own mind and come to find out, he was awesome and we became good friends. Sadly he died at 18, from a brain aneurysm. Wow at him and wow at me. At least I got the chance for redemption and a cool friend.

    1. I am confused. Did I sense a funny side to your comment? can I joke about this? but I don’t want to be an insensitive ‘coward’, so I won’t. But WOW! please don’t use your brain powers on me 😦

  6. Sometimes it helps to talk to the ‘cowards’. In my case I am so stupid that I won’t even realise what insensitive blabber-jabber I have uttered. A feedback would set me straight as I don’t mean bad from heart. OR Maybe because you are letting it affect you personally. You see I have a black hole surrounding me. Every bullshit around me get sucked down in that black hole. So nothing comes at me. Of course I use my secret portal to let the positivity come to me but all that negativity gets sucked straight into the black hole. You see the ‘coward’ doesn’t know me so I am not obliged to give a fuck! No matter how insanely childish it sounds it works. And costs the money to go to therapist. LOL

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